The past IS the past. But does it have to be?!

I started school at age 4. So from the time I started, to the time I graduated with my BA, I spent 18 years of my life in school.

There were good times. There were difficult times. And like I said in my last post, I was good at it and it brought me a lot of satisfaction. I knew on graduation day, and the weeks lead up to graduation, that it was going to be difficult for me, but I didnt know HOW difficult.

Without school, I feel like I've lost a part of me. All of my motivation and drive is gone.

When I was sad....I did homework, or something to advance.
When I was mad....I did homework, or something to advance.
When I was bored....I did homework, or something to advance.
When I was happy.....I did homework, or something to advance.

I've expereinced ALL of these emotions amongst MANY MANY more over the past year and a half. But my homework now (which is acutally work) is NOT what I turn to. And I have absolutely NO MOTIVATION to.

I'm just really struggling, and I wish it wasn't this way. I feel like I have nothing left.