Do what makes you happy

What makes me happy? 

Boy, that is a hard question! As I said in my previous post, working with the children at the Boys and Girls Club made me happy. Children make me happy because they are lively, random, and I love doing crazy things with them. Another thing that makes me happy is being comforted.

I started my day out being stressed. Every morning, as soon as I open my eyes (and maybe press snooze a couple times), my brain starts rolling, like a hamster on his wheel in the middle of the night. Thinking about work, stressing about work. Today was in one sense a fairly easy day, I attended a conference/training for my program. Right before lunch I felt a release of my anxiety and began thinking, "Okay, I can do this. I can take back what they've been talking about, this is great and useful information. With these changes I can keep going." All was well for my lunch break. I ate with my co-workers and made a few phone calls, it was nice to feel some release. Five minutes before the beginning of the second half of the conference, I received a phone call from one of the families that I work with. Immediately I begin to panic and many thoughts sped though my mind, "I didnt know what to do",  "I should be going with them to that school meeting so I know how I can help them", "I cant get ahold of my boss, oh no", "I cant do this, its too much for me."

I made it out alive from the conference, met my fiance for our wedding cake appointment, and went for a one-on-one with another kid that I work with. I also decided to work on cutting our wedding invitations (HARD! NERVE RAKING! INTENSE STING TO MY HEART! (only Matt will understand that one).

As I drove home this beautiful song came on the radio.

I couldn't help but sing out loud ( mind you-I cant hold a note to save my life), and praise my Savior.

I give You my life
I give You my trust
Jesus
You are my God
You are enough
Jesus

My heart is Yours
My heart is Yours
Take it all
Take it all
My life in Your hands

I lay down my life
And take up my cross
Jesus
For You are my God
Whatever the cost
Jesus
For You, Jesus

All to Jesus I surrender
All to You I freely give
I will ever love and trust You
In Your presence I will live

-My Heart Is Yours, Kristian Stanfill

*Lyrics courtesy of klove.com

So what makes me happy? My heart was filled with joy as I sang this song aloud to the Lord. Being comforted by the fact that I am not alone. Jesus is with me. Even though I feel like all of my suffering is suffocating me and I'm on the edge of death, I know that Jesus is with me. Satan is working his hardest to lure me away from the truth spoken from the Father's mouth, but my heart is His. The Lord is being glorified in my suffering. "My grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in weaknesses." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" 2 Corinthians 12:9.

All to Jesus I surrender

All to you I freely give